i think about you when i’m warming the car
at 5am on dark winter mornings
the green glow of the digital clock mounted on the dash
searing into my eyes like the sights
of some predatory animal

i want to tell you about things i haven’t thought
of in years       like standard transmissions
and american spirit cigarettes and porch wine

and when i’m washing dishes in the sink
the window a black mirror
reflecting the dark grooves of my night face
back into the kitchen, i think of you again

i want to tell you about swimming in quarries
at night      jumping from the precipice above
and plunging deep into its reservoir
finding the surface by the buoyancy
of my body alone

when I’m laying with my children
in darkened bedrooms breathing quiet
and waiting for them to turn their tired bodies
towards sleep          i want to tell you
about the soft bed of my childhood
the popping embers and smoldering sage
my hair combed one thousand and one times
the musty books scheherazade aesop’s fables
the Iliad

i want to pad barefoot in my flannel nightgown
to your warm bed    pull the plug of moss

from your ear and whisper everything
never knowing if you were awake
or what you heard